Mars Direct & The Day That Almost Ended Me

Mars Direct Pin

As many of y’all know, Mars went direct on Wednesday.

If you’re signed up to my newsletter, you’ll know that I spent the tail end of that particular retrograde taking care of my injured grandmother (AKA Mamaw).

And it damn near killed me. Energetically speaking, anyway.

My Mars Rx

If you recall my post from the beginning of this retrograde, you’ll remember that Mars would be retrograding in my fourth house from May until June 29.

So that’s the planet of drive and determination retrograding in my house of family and home.

And boy, did I find out just how far I’m willing to go for my family, yo.

Mamaw has a fracture in her spine. She called an ambulance for herself on a Friday. They released her with a back brace and pain meds (as well as visiting nurses AND physical and occupational therapists),  on Tuesday. Which is when I went over to help out.

The meds they put her on ended up not even so much as dulling the pain and making her so nauseous, she couldn’t even sit up without wanting to vomit. The nausea meant she couldn’t eat hardly anything, which meant she stayed weak as all hell.

So she tried to go off her meds and just take Advil in the hopes of getting her appetite back.

By the time the nurses visited on Monday, she was in such a shape they decided the best way to get her pain managed would be to send her back to the hospital.

During all this, I was making phone calls and appointments with the nurses, therapists and a medical social worker. On top of giving updates to my mom and uncle, plus Mamaw’s friends. Oh. And working on a free e-course I’m planning, while keeping on top of my Instagram.

And you know what? That was okay. I was tired, but more or less fine.

And then they sent her home the same day with stronger pain meds. Meds that had to be administered every four hours.

And children, let me tell you. From the moment she got home on Monday until about 2pm on Wednesday, I ran myself ragged.

I love sleep to the point that I can go 14 hours straight without waking up. Purely on accident. That’s not even a decision I have to make.

So I knew I couldn’t sleep in the guest bedroom and wake up at the drop of a hat. I’d be too comfy for that. I’d sleep deep enough I’d forget what’s happening in my waking life.

So I slept on the sofa. Every four hours, my phone’s alarm would go off, I’d help her drink some water or make her way to the bathroom, give her her pill, then lay back down for maybe a solid hour of sleep before repeating the whole process again.

To top it all, the meds they gave her the second time also made her nauseous. So we had the same problems as before.

The nurse actually looked mildly frightened when she examined her on Wednesday.

And so off in the ambulance we went.

On maybe two hours of sleep and exactly zero food in my belly, I answered the questions of countless doctors and nurses from the hours of 2pm to 8pm.

She was admitted and got a room at 6pm.

My ride arrived at 8 something.

I left her and felt stupidly guilty for it.

I left her realizing I sometimes go a little too hard on this whole ‘caring’ thing.

And Now…

Well, I’m still not sure.

Her nausea and pain still isn’t 100% controlled. The doctors still haven’t consulted each other about the procedure she’s supposed to undergo for her back.

Everything is still up in the air at this point.

I know I’m going back to her house for a couple days after the procedure to help her out, but still no word on when that will be.

Until then, I’m at home and trying to piece myself back together. Lots of food, sleep, and self care is on the cards for me. I’m still working on the e-course and will be writing July’s newsletter tomorrow, but I’m taking all that nice and slow until I’m not quite so mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted as I am right now.

And I’ve just got to learn to be okay with that.

How did your Mars Rx go? How thankful are you for it going direct? Hit me up and let me know. I’d love to hear from you.

As always,

Zee

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6 thoughts on “Mars Direct & The Day That Almost Ended Me

  1. etherealvapours says:

    I pray that all your problems may dissolve. I had my Mars retrograding through my third house and as far as neighbours,relatives, classmates,siblings are concerned i had a pretty bumpy ride all along may and June.

    Like

  2. Fernanda says:

    I’ve had Mars retrograde and stationing on my Asc. I was thrown back to myself and getting in touch with frustrations and left over anger wasn’t easy. ♡

    Like

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