So last night was the Full Moon in Scorpio. During both Pluto and Mars retrograde. I was expecting my ritual last night to bring up strong emotions–mainly crying. I was sort of right…but instead of crying, I got fucking angry.
Every man and woman is a star, and all that.
I decided (mainly since the retrogrades have been working in tandem to kick my ass emotionally–and that the moon’s placement would only serve to up the ante up that whole situation) to focus exclusively on myself during ritual.
This is the altar I set up a while ago. It’s different from my main altar in that it’s dedicated 100% to M E. I do not worship any gods here, I do not speak to spirits here. If my magic isn’t meant to effect myself and myself alone, it doesn’t get done here. Point blank.
Seeing as how the retrograde combo brought back up some emotional shit I’ve been trying to suppress for far too long, I thought this would be the perfect place to conduct my ritual. Just me, myself, and my shadow work journal.
It was an exercise in simplicity. And it was wonderful. Four furiously scribbled pages that basically boiled down to, “Fuck you and fuck me–I have every right to feel as I do on this subject and if you don’t like it, you can kick bricks”.
Now back to our regularly scheduled program…
I cannot even begin to tell you how much better I feel after last night’s catharsis. While the ‘issue’, as it were, hasn’t magically up and vanished, it’s no longer a thing looming over me throughout the day like a spectre. Which was the problem I had before last night–I could barely get anything done thanks to these feelings that would bubble up unbidden from the very depths of me. Like emotional diarrhea.
But today is much, much better.
I woke up late, had my coffee, started in on my Daria box set (I’m on disc three as of right now), and even started in on the wonderful surprise that awaited me when I woke up–three sparkly new tarot orders to fill! And now I’ve nearly finished this blog post.
I’m getting things done AND enjoying myself without feeling like I’ll either burst into tears or a hissy fit at any minute.
Such is the wonder of working on yourself. Of being honest with yourself and really being there for yourself.
Would you like to start working on being there for yourself, but aren’t really sure were to start? Perhaps my “Peek into the Subconscious” reading could be of service to you.
Or perhaps you want to take a more seasonal approach to things. I’m currently offering two new readings just for May Day/Beltane. And they’re both under $10! Grab ’em while you can.
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