Here’s the thing about using witchcraft to work on yourself. Here’s the thing about using anything to work on yourself.
Here the thing about working on yourself.
You’ll never be finished. There will always be something to improve upon.
This is something I’ve known since before I even thought about trying to better myself as a person. Perfection is the greatest myth ever conceived, after all. But knowing something in theory and knowing something in practice are two totally different things.
To be quite honest, I (foolishly) thought I knew all of my problems, all of the things I needed to work on. I thought these were things that would keep me occupied well into my old age.
“There couldn’t possibly be more than all this,” I thought, standing in pseudo-contentment amid all my various problems, fears, and old hurts. “This will keep me plenty busy until I die!”
So imagine my surprise when I uncovered this previously unnoticed lie I’d been telling myself since childhood.
I don’t know how it happens for you, but I typically uncover this kind of psyche-clogging junk because of my craft. If it doesn’t come up during shadow work, I’m inevitably going to find it due to spells that consistently fail to work.
Here’s the thing–I’m really, really good at money spells…if I’m not doing them for myself. The last one I did for the good of my family netted my parents an unexpected $550.
The last one I did for myself got me jack shit.
I’ve done so many money workings for the benefit of my family, I couldn’t even begin to count them. They work roughly 80% of the time. Over all the years I’ve been practicing witchcraft, I’ve done about 10 to 15 money spells for myself. Exactly 0% of them worked.
I realized this one morning last week, during my morning cup of coffee and daily Gmail chat with future roommate and platonic soulmate Rachel. It hit me like a bolt of lightning. I’m the absolute worst at keeping magical records, but with money spells, a lot like with money itself, the highs of a windfall and the lows of having nothing in the bank account are really fucking easy to remember.
I can remember the joy of getting Mom enough money three years ago for her to be able to fix a special New Year’s dinner for us, and I can remember the panicked restlessness of not being able to make any tarot sales because our internet was cut and who knows when we’d be able to get it back (Two months. We got it back after two months).
The more I thought back, the clearer it became–I’m shit at magicking up money for myself.
The only question is, why?
The Hillbilly Work Ethic
What’s the difference between a redneck and a hillbilly?
Rednecks are naive enough to think the chances of them bootstrapping themselves into being billionaires are high.
Hillbillies know better.
No one knows this better than me, whose mother’s side of the family is exclusively hillbillies, and whose father’s side is exclusively rednecks. Both groups work like dogs and members of both groups will die having lived a middle-class life, if they’re lucky.
And hillbillies know short of a bumbling, Jed Clampett-style miracle, their lives are going to be the same as their Papaw’s and their Papaw’s Papaw and the Papaw before that–IE: shit.
Being raised by hard-living, old school Eastern Kentucky hillbillies, I grew up believing wealth was a thing for other people. And I’m not talking fancy cement swimmin’ hole wealth, either. If you make enough to keep a roof over your head, food on the table and clothes on your back, you’ve got what you need. If you can afford to buy yourself something special and somewhat frivolous once in a blue moon, then you can count yourself lucky. Extremely lucky.
And of course, you don’t dare to dream you could achieve this ‘wealth’ via following your dreams. What are you, a damn hippie?
This–this was the baggage I had no idea I was hefting around with me.
In the mind of a hillbilly, there is nothing more important than family. If you want enough money to take care of your family, that’s fine. If you want to start your own business doing something you love and make enough money at it to sustain yourself and buy yourself pretty things every now and then, well, that’s just a goddamned pipe dream.
Helping your family out? Good.
Helping yourself out? Selfish.
This is the blockage I’m working with.
There are things I’m doing now to help with my specific situation. We can dive in to these later, if there’s any interest in that. But for now, I thought I’d focus on things that might be helpful to a wider audience.
So if you’ve constantly had money workings fail on you (no matter how you tweak them) and can’t figure out why, pay attention–I hope you’ll find something you can use here.
Take a look inside
What was the money situation like in your home growing up? How did your parent(s)/guardians view money? How did they teach you to view it? How does your sense of self-worth line up with our culture’s ideas about wealth? How do you really feel about money?
Money as an entity
In The Sorcerer’s Secrets; Strategies in Practical Magick, Jason Miller says,
“Money has all the characteristics of a spirit, as surely as a demon in a medieval grimoire. Money, like a spirit, is intangible and invisible: cash and computerized accounts only represent money as talismans and rituals–they are not money itself. Despite its intangible nature, it can create very concrete effects in people’s lives by its presence or absence. Money requires certain offerings and has certain protocols for handling it if you want to remain friendly. If money is mistreated it will leave as surely as an offended guest. If you become too invested in it, it can possess you as if you were Linda Blair.”
Really, I could go on to quote so much more of this chapter, but we’ll leave it at that. If you think it will help, treat money like you would any spirit (if you work with spirits). Dig deep, think about correspondences for money as you view it, and allow some room for these interpretations to grow as you work with it.
Speaking of correspondences, I read Kalagni’s review of Money Magic: Mastering Prosperity in its True Element by Frater U.:.D.:. over on Blue Flame Magick. Kalagni says,
“The book starts with U.:.D.:. making a case for what element money is, and while the answer is that we can’t really simplify anything down too much he makes a very compelling argument for money being Air as opposed to the more traditional Earth. “
Food for thought. There are more points made in the review (as well as the book, apparently–I have yet to get my hands on it myself) about planetary correspondences, as well. I’d give it a look if you’re wanting to reprogram how you view money.
This is linked to the first point. While asking myself the questions I listed before certainly helped me figure out what my whole deal with money was/is, meditation really helped bring up some of the stuff lingering deeper in my subconscious.
The way I’ve been doing it is linked to Frater U.:.D.:.’s thoughts on money being more Air than Earth. Yup–I’ve been doing Elemental meditation. That’s what I get for poo-pooing and saying ‘never’.
I start with Air, “What do I feel about money itself? What feelings come up when I think about money? About wealth? About success?” And then on to Fire, “Where does my money-making drive lie? How can I turn my passion into success?” From there we go to Water, “How do I feel when I make money? How do I feel when I think about being able to support myself?” And finally, Earth, “How do I grow my business? What seeds can I sew today that will flourish tomorrow?”
Positive Affirmations + Sigils
I feel like such a crunchy-granola hippie (oops, is my hillbilly showing?) saying this, but…positive affirmations. Yeah. Think of it this way, if you can repeat lies to yourself until they become truths in your mind, why can’t you do the same for actual facts? Sure, it takes a while for them to take root (just like the lies did), but telling yourself you’re worthy of not only the necessities, but also being able to treat yourself is obviously a much nicer way to start treating yourself than by repeating the lie that you’re a worthless fool.
And of course, sigilization can help with this. For more on sigils and how to make them work for you, you can read more here.
And that’s about it. I’m not going to lie–it is slow and plodding work. But it’s bound to be worth it.